Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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