If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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