Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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