I'm laying in your front yard are you home
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
