If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
