Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
