Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
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Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
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Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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