no, he came in my armpit
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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