Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Someone signed my nipple.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
