I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
