Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
