dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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