just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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