I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
