Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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