You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
