It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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