im drinking this country out of the recession.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
