I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize