Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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