We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
