She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
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All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
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Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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