dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
