I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
