If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
