even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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