She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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