You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
