and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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