i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
