You're so nebulous sometimes
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
