the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
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I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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