My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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