I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.