it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.