Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
