We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?