Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.

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  (617): That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head. http://tfl.nu/g2zg
  Replies (19) Good night (1036) Bad night (4611)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.

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  (416): Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism. http://tfl.nu/ra36
  Replies (12) Good night (1535) Bad night (2890)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.

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  (727): Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo. http://tfl.nu/8g98
  Replies (14) Good night (1461) Bad night (4139)
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  (805): View more from California

  woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."

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  (805): woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream." http://tfl.nu/w9nn
  Replies (11) Good night (4546) Bad night (1034)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"

  (905): View more from Ontario

  And sadly I did.

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  (905): They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?" (905): And sadly I did. http://tfl.nu/9e0f
  Replies (25) Good night (2117) Bad night (4094)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.

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  (647): Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts. http://tfl.nu/g67r
  Replies (16) Good night (6476) Bad night (1026)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.

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  (609): His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me. http://tfl.nu/x400
  Replies (36) Good night (1256) Bad night (8585)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  She still started it.

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  (651): No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister. (1-651): She still started it. http://tfl.nu/h5sx
  Replies (7) Good night (2874) Bad night (990)
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  (760): View more from California

  You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare

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  (760): You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare http://tfl.nu/ctrq
  Replies (13) Good night (773) Bad night (2313)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!

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  (813): Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed! http://tfl.nu/9riq
  Replies (5) Good night (1124) Bad night (590)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  This ER has an aquarium in it!!!

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  (609): This ER has an aquarium in it!!! http://tfl.nu/uric
  Replies (11) Good night (1869) Bad night (522)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?

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  (425): So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt? http://tfl.nu/9qop
  Replies (8) Good night (1676) Bad night (470)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.

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  (+44): When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies. http://tfl.nu/0fef
  Replies (8) Good night (1667) Bad night (418)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!

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  (618): When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK" (1-618): As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever! http://tfl.nu/gtn1
  Replies (4) Good night (1194) Bad night (297)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"

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  (256): We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!" http://tfl.nu/7rwd
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (257)

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