You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
