My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
