I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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