Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
