Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
