escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
