is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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