fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
