I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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