Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize