I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
