She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
