Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My Higher Power is John Stamos
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
