too bad you live with your parents still
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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