yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
why is half of my head shaved?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
