oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm having to shit out rocks
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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