he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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