Swine flu is the new snow day.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Shame - the story of my life.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
