Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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