Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
