Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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