Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize