It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
