Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
