He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
