If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize