Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize