We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
