I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
