i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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