I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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