In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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