there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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