i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
