she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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